Considered by most to be the “best coach” in football and reviled by others, as an evil genius who will go to the darkside in order to win at all costs. He has built a deathstar otherwise known as the unstoppable juggernaut “the New England Patriots”. The Patriots organization under coach Belichick could be an evil empire, or just a dynasty of talent that has conquered most of the NFL and been to 4 superbowls. On his list of rebel teams to defeat are forces like the Pittsburgh Steelers, the New Orlean Saints, and of course the reigning champions the Green Bay Packers. The lowly Detroit Lions were surely no threat against his powers.
The Detroit Lions master jedi coach “Yogurt” used the power of the “Schwartz” to crush the Pats. The dominating D line got to Tom Brady early and often. Young jedi QB Matt Stafford looked well prepared throwing lazer like passes to his receivers all night. The Lions put the rest of the NFL on notice and are my dark horse pick to get to the superbowl this year. For your enjoyment, here is a replay of the Schwartz defeating Big Helmet.

For years, fat people have been the object of ridicule. Obesity is the fastest growing medical condition in the united states with over 60 % of Americans projected to be fat or really obese by 2012. Now we are finding evidence that fat people may not be such losers after all. in fact it may not even be their fault that they are so huge. There is mounting evidence and several unconfirmed sources who are coming out and giving testimony about a super top secret operation by our government to make us fat. Scientific facts that being obese is hereditary is nothing more than a smoke screen and disinformation put out by our government to pacify our guilt about gaining so much weight. When we asked one source how much weight we could put behind his allegations, he said it was comparable to the government’s propaganda they generated in the 40′s against legalizing marijuana only in this case it’s fat. The real truth behind obesity is stranger than real life and another unbelievable conspiracy theory to boot ! Word has it the U.S. government had good intel, not only from our own space program technology, but also from the aliens they encountered while visiting the moon. using telescopes, satelite tracking and of course direct assistant from the greys, our government became aware of an impending disaster that would occur in the future around 2012 from an approaching dwarf star or comet. Immediately, the government set about putting plans in place to save humanity from this earth extinction event. The first idea that they came up with was building top secret shelters and life boats/arks for people to use to escape the danger. The government then spent unheard of amounts of tax payer’s money to build top secret underground bunkers and ships located on mountain tops. The only problem with the plan, was that the scientists calculated that there was no way for all people to have a seat in one of these places. After much serious debate and with a heavy heart the government decided that they would have to prioritize “who” would be selected to be saved. Of course the first group of people selected was the government officials themselves. Without a functioning government there would be no plan, there would be no shelters or ships either. After government officials and workers and their immediate families, there were only so many seats left, so the government decided that the final group of people to be saved would be the super rich, the super smart, talented, or good looking who also happened to be rich as well. And that’s the way it was until 1993.
Perhaps our greatest president Bill Clinton, who left a surplus for George Bush who totally blew it leaving Obama someone to blame for all 4 years of his presidency, had achieved this remarkable factoid at the end of his presidency and before he lied about having sex with Monica Lewinski, he faced a much much greater decision. Although his secretary of state was pushing him to address the ever increasing threat coming from the terrorist Usama Bin Laden, who had declared jihad against the U.S. President Clinton knew the impending disaster in 2012 was a much much more bigger concern. Bill Clinton himself had come from a meager childhood, living in a log cabin and reading by candelight. his parents were so poor, he had to eat at Mickey Ds most of his life and his favorite food was a big mac. So the idea that the only people who could be saved and have a seat in the shelters and ships were government officials and the elite didn’t sit well with him. After much thought he had a revelation on how to save all the other people. He launched a top secret plan called “Operation Mickey Ds”. The concept was simple. since there were not enough seats for everybody else, and since the impending disaster would destroy all food production for at least several months leading to mass starvation of all the rest of us, it was imperative to fatten up all of us. Being a lover of fast food, and especially big Mac’s, Clinton then had the government subsidize the fast food industry and start a propaganda campaign that the government was trying to get us to stop eating the stuff. Bill knew two things, first if the government tells you to not do something, then everybody will do it. Secondly the president is the role model for America, so anything he does is a reflection of the country and would impact the people who would naturally want to emulate the president. So Bill Clinto ate as many Big mac’s as possible while in office. The program was an amazing success. Americans are fatter than ever and eating more fast food than ever. other side programs like having salads and fruit in the restaurants were added, all to fool us into choosing the food that was loaded with calories and cholesterol. Now with the impending disaster just months away, the rest of us are prepared, carrying around the extra weight we will need to survive the tribulation until the government officials and super rich can emerge from their shelters and ships to show us what to do again. So the irony of the whole thing is that while fatt people are the butt of the majority of jokes we make, the joke will be on the rest of us. the skinny people too dumb stupid and poor to survive.

We are only two preseason games into the 2011 superbowl run, but it’s looking good. Really, REALLY, good for the PATS as they demollished the Tampa Bay Buccaneers last night. Their offense looked unstoppable, and the rest of the league is taking notice of the Tom Brady led juggernaut that is getting ready to launch. The O & D lines are looking dominant. Bill Belichick’s new “jumbo” package of tight ends, and tall DB’s give the Patriots the physical advantage over most teams.
I am going to go out on a limb and predict a second undefeated season for this team and thus cementing BB as the greatest coach to ever coach the game. The haters out there will be in for a long rollercoaster ride that ends up with my boys hoisting a 4th Lombardi trophy at the superbowl this time. Are you ready for some football ?

Last night, the forces for good known as the Republicans aka the Tea Party gathered in Iowa for the second televised primary debate. The hobbits, wizards, elfs, trolls, and kings battled for the future of middle earth otherwise known as the American dream. Instead of Sauron the Demon spirit spreading evil and darkness across the land, it is presidentObama and big government with their excessive spending, taxing, fraud, regulations, and entitlement society programs, that are creating the current malaise, stagnation, recession/depression. If Obamacare and the Frank/Dodd financial fiasco are not stopped and repealed, our country is headed towards doom.

Newt Gingrich stood tall as the grand wizard Gandalf. His mastery of the stage, knowledge of the facts, and solutions for problems made him the person who can defeat Sauron and turn this country around. Unfortunately, America is not into curmudgeonish presidents, rather we put too much importance in looks.  A candidate has to look like a president (be good looking). Newt cast a spell on the audience by thwarting gotcha questions from the moderators, confronting Washington’s madness head on by calling the “Compromise and Demise of America” bill, what it is, DUMB. We all know the super committee is DOOMED to FAIL. Labeled “UN-electable”, Gingrich faces a huge challenge and like Gandalf, may fall into the pit of fire and fade away. Other strong performers, were Michelle Bachmann the head of the Hobbits. Her bickering with Tim Pawlenty, showed that she not only has a titanium spine, but some gravitas as well. Pawlenty is ready to go back to the shire. Mitt Romney and soon to enter the race Texas governor, Rick Perry will argue on who is the baddest hobbit, but it’s Frodo’s odyssey to reach the end, which is what Bachmann will do. Perry and Romney will end up back at the shire as well. Business man Herman Cain came across as a friendly and trustworthy soul, with common sense. Just like Gimli, the troll in lord of the rings, Cain looks as though he can not only kick ass, but provide some leadership. Rick Santorum, is prince Aragon, capable of slaying the enemy as well. John Huntsman, has that wierd elf like personality, but he also smells of effectiveness and experience. Ron Paul did what he always does, sort of a Gollum craziness that always rings true. “My precious” Paul just kept repeating his mantra that he has carried with him like some sort of curse or prophetic warning. Waiting in the wings, ready to ride in on a white horse is elf princess Arwen aka Sarah “the barracuda” Palin. Can Sauron be stopped? Time is running out and the darkness continues to creep across the land. Other middle earth creatures and citizens could still play a role in this epic battle to save middle earth. Donald Trump, Rudi Giulliani, and others lurk in the shadows.

For weeks, even months now, Washington has been playing a high stakes poker game with the future of our country. Bluffing, cheating, holding all the cards, folding, the grand deal are all terms the main stream media has been using to describe the brinksmanship of politicians and our president as they posture and bloviate with their plans and pitches for addressing the crisis generated by their inaction. The only losers from their game will be the American public. With no plans that will fix the problem, or pass through our system to become law, it looks as though these gamblers are more than willing to lose the future rather than lose their next election. An economic collapse is in the making.

President Obama held an online meeting with citizens on Twitter yesterday. The only problem is that our president is too stupid to Tweet. Twitter limits the messages to 140 characters, which forces writers to be clear and concise. This proved to be too big of a mental hurdle for the telepromtor-in-chief, who specializes in long winded, confusing, contradicting, and just plain wrong answers that lull his audiences into a kind of mental malaise or fog bank. Follow up questions, are never allowed by this president to his political mumbo jumbo that he so cleverly dishes out. Twitter does not allow for this kind of obfusecation. Because of the president’s inability, or perhaps mental handicap, he was not able to tweet, so at his town hall meeting, he was allowed to talk as long as he wanted. Users were unable to decipher Obama’s bulls shit, so no new news was delivered. Users just have to wait for the next long winded, scripted, speech delivered via telepromter to have any hope of getting some actual information out of Obama. He may have been tagged the great communicator, but on twitter he is just another educated idiot unable tweet.

When it came to Lybia, our president said he had no choice, because Kernel Gaddafy said “he would kill his own people.” However, when it comes to other countries where the leaders never said they would “kill” their own people, but they actually are killing their own people, our president is not standing as tall, demanding that it be stopped or else ! Why do the Lybian people get NATO protection, but not others ? Does Obama have other unilateral covert operations taking place in other countries ? Was the raid on Usama in Pakistan the new norm for U.S. foriegn policy ? We do what we want to whom we want when we want to. With or without permission from them or our own congress, because Obama says so. This sounds like a very dangerous position for the U.S. to be taking.

 

President Obama spent a good portion of his speech telling Americans that we are responsible for America’s decline in the world. On top of that he stated that we are too stupid to realize it either and we need a “Sputnik moment ” to wake up and realize we are no longer winning the global race. Obama’s far left policies, lack of leadership,  and failed presidency could not be the reason for the greatest recession since the “great depression” of the 40′s and the great recession of the Jimmy Carter presidency in the 70′s. As I posted back in blogs in 2008, before the election of Barack Obama to office, his economic and leftest leanings mirrored former President Jimmy Carters. In fact they both have the same tendency to cowtow to dictators or at least they legitimize them by being willing to negotiate with them. However, my biggest concern with our new president was more in the area of foriegn affairs and global security. My blog posted on October 27th 2008 entitled, Hostage situation is most likely senario for Biden’s warning on international ” generated crisis ” heading for Obama.
talked about the dangers in the mid-east and the possibility that Obama would have his “Iran hostage momment” like Jimmy Carter. We all know how that ended up with a present day Iran that is the BIGGEST threat facing our nation and a one term presidency for Jimmy Carter.

Now with the recent developments in the mid-east and Egypt, that fear and prediction of a repeat of the Iran hostage situation now looms. President Barack Obama is now facing his ” Jimmy Carter moment ” and it’s not looking good. Jimmy Carter became the master of going in front of the American people and rambling on, babbling about whatever, and doing nothing. Obama, who has been compared to the great communicator Ronald Reagan who was concise and visionary, has been more like Jimmy Carter in his ability to babble and talk for long periods of time and yet fail to communicate effectively. His 2011 SOTU address and his recent speech to the Egyptians are examples of this. The danger to the U.S. is that Obama does not want to be Jimmy Carter II. Where Jimmy Carter babbled on for over 400 days and did nothing, Obama took action. As we have all learned, Obama’s lack of experience and common sense (see the Gulf oil disaster) has shown through at moments of crisis. Obama has shown he does not consider the impact and long-term ramifications of his actions. As of this week, Obama has gone public calling for Egyptian President Mubarak’s head.

In his effort to be pro-active, Obama is setting the stage for a radical Islamic takeover of Egypt. He appears indifferent or supportive of the Muslim Brotherhood being at the negotiating table. Either way it does not bode well for Egypt or the U.S. Now, the rest of the world knows what we know, that our president is willing to throw anybody under the bus to look good politically. They also know Obama is not thinking things through and standing up for democracy, free speech, and the American way (which is what Egypt needs).

Although president Obama has mentioned his support for peaceful protest and demonstration, his actions and words do not match his rhetoric. At home in the U.S., the president and the far left have continually bad mouthed and talked about the threat coming from the Tea Party or far right. A tea bagger with a toothpick in his mouth is accused of hiding a concealed weapon and being a racist, while around the world and specifically in Egypt there are thousands of people running around RIOTING. The far left has tried to sell us on the ficticious GLOBAL WARMING and it’s impending doom, but not a word about GLOBAL RIOTING that is a direct result of mass communication in the 21st century. It threatens to destroy order, the rule of law and democracy, replacing it with authoritarianism, theocracies, and anarchy.

Obama has spent the first two years of his presidency trying to reverse former president Bush and especially former president Reagan’s accomplishments. What is ironic about that is, that what he may actually accomplish, is the reversal of former Jimmy Carter’s prized accomplishment the Camp David Accord, mid-east peace agreement he brokered between Israel and Egypt (Begin & Sadat). If the expedited downfall of Mubarak presidency results in a radical Egypt that declares war on Israel, it will be Obama’s fault. Now that our president has called for the removal of another country’s president, he is now susceptable to calls from other countries for his removal from office. Not a good precedent.
What Obama should be focusing on is the suppression of GLOBAL RIOTING. Protesting and demonstrating may be covered by the 1st Amendment and human rights, but what is happening now is not free speech. Radicals, thugs, undercover agents all blending into the peacefull crowds, but stoking the flames of violent dissention and anarchy. Rocks, stones, pipes, knives, billy clubs, guns, tear gas, beat-downs, trampling, and molatov cocktails are not FREE SPEECH. Obama should be addressing how we control and stop the people who do this. Shutting off (kill switch) the internet or phones is not the answer (it violates 1st amendment and basic human rights). Obama is silent for the most part, unless it is a tea party person with a nasty sign with him on it. Now that’s really dangerous. America wake up! Your ” Sputnik moment ” is not realizing you are stupid or responsible for the mess our country is in. It is realizing Obama is Jimmy Carter II, or Jimmy Carter times ten, which is not good. The world is too dangerous for delusional eggheads to be steering the car. The U.S. will be back in the ditch or over a cliff.

This year has been a bear as far as figuring what the fuck is going on in the NFL. A perfect example of this is the 3-0 Chicago Bears in first place of the NFC north ! Go figure ? However despite the rough start, those of us in the know, know it’s time to toss out all of our delusional off season expectations, time to toss out any insight gained watching meaningless pre-season games by players that are not on the 53 man roster. Now with 3 weeks of REAL NFL games under our belts, it’s time to man up and start figuring out who is going to play up to expectations and win us some dam money !


The smoke has cleared, the curtain has lifted, contenders and pretenders have been exposed, so now is the time to take advantage of our new found knowledge. This week there are several CHA-CHING, can’t miss match-ups begging for parlay action. This is the week to regain the upper hand, and to re-load our bank accounts with some big win’ins ! So lets get our bets down. The following are mix match and cash out specials. Enjoy






-3.5 Bengals @ Browns 38pts, Can it get any easier ? Get your popcorn ready. The T.O., Ocho Cinco show is rounding into form. Carlson Palmer had a rough week last week against the Panthers and they still kicked ass. The Browns are a mess. They just aren’t that good, but they are good for 10 to 17 pts so the over looks pretty good here too. Take the Bengals.


-5.5 Jets @ Bills 37 pts, Personally I hate the J-E-T-S, Jets, but they have one hell of a team. Sanchize looks good, real good even when his ass is knocked down in the dirt. When a dirty Sanchez gets you excited, you know your either sic in the head, or a J-E-T-S jets fan. The Bills are a mess. They won’t be able to move the ball as easily against the jets as they did against the Patriots suspect defense last week. Take the J-E-T-S Jets to cover. I’m leaning toward the under, but I wouldn’t bet on it.


+14.5 Panthers @ Saints 45 pts, It can get easier ! The Saints offense hasn’t been what we thought it was. Well maybe this is the week for it to get its act together and cover the spread. If not, the defense and ST will make up the difference. The panthers are a mess. Jimmy Clausen is in for a long night, after tosing two INT last week in his debut. Going into the Superdome with 60K+ drunk-ass, delirious, gap-toothed, gumbo-munching, fugly fans breathing down your neck is not going to help poor Jimmy. Despite the danger of this being a divisional match-up, the saint’s look to run up the score and get the party started early. I’ll take the over and the Saints to cover, CHA_CHING baby !


-7 Colts @ Jaguars 46.5 pts, Another no brainer. Manning is on a mission and putting the beat down on the Jags is nothing new for Peyton. The Jaguars are a mess. With Trent Edwards now waiting in the wings to replace QB Gerrard, the Jags season is over before it started. The Colts put the first nail in the Jag’s coffin with a win. Although the Colts cover, I am not sure about the point production. I am leaning toward the under, but don’t bet on it.


+6.5 Broncos @ Titans 41.5 pts, Prentenders vs contenders. Denver still has to get its act together, starting with their QB carousel. The Titans looks to continue their dominant play back at home. Take the titans to cover and the over for extra win’ins.


-4 Texans @ Raiders 44 pts, Don’t know what happened to the Texans last week against the Cowboys, but what better team to rebound against than the Silver and Black. Although the Raiders played ok, last week, it was against the Cardinals. The Raiders have some kind of bad mojo on them and it comes from the top with the crypt keeper Al Davis with his fingerprints all over this years team, which is ALways bad news. The Raiders collapse into a black hole as the Texans right the ship and sail on. Take the Texans and the over as they rack up the points on a soft D.


+14.5 Lions @ Packers 45.5 pts, This game is a red flag for many as divisional opponents square off and the score looks to be closer than 14.5. Don’t do it. Be bold and take the Pack to pour it on and have a scorefest on the Lions. The Lions need their young QB back, but he’s not ready to return. Take the over and take the Pack as Arron Rogers has a big day !


-1 Patriots @ Dolphins 45.5 pts, The Pats have the highest scoring offense in the NFL. Against the fish, the Pats will score enough to easily cover the spread. They have too many weapons and Brady is playing well. The weak D on the Pats, will allow some points as well, but nobody is fooled by the wild cat offense anymore, so take the over as well.


+9 Cardinals @ Chargers 46 pts, This is the final CHA-CHING sure thing parlay pick for the week. As a really weak team the cardinals go to S.D. The Chargers are looking to bounce back from a sub par game last week and what better team to put a beat down on than the Cards. It’smin the cards as the Chargers cover and push up the score. Add a little slopology or garbology scoring at the end by a thoroughly beaten cards team and the over looks good here too.


Other picks to consider


+3 Bears @ Giants 43.5 pts, Da bears ! Jay Cutler is the man. The Giants have issues. This will be a slugfest, but I’ll take the Bears to win a close one. I like the under.


+6.5 Redskins @ Eagles 42 pts, Common logic says take the Eagles at home. Coach Andy Reid has Vick playing at a high level, but some times payback is a bitch. When the Eagles traded McNabb to the Skins, we knew this game would come. I’ll take the Skins and the points as Donovan get revenge or redemption against his former team. I really like the OVER (CHA CHING) on this game.

+1.5 Ravens @ Steelers 34.5 pts, This is the black and blue game of the week. The Steelers wil run the table winning all 4 games without Worthlessburger. Even though he is a really good QB, I predict the Steelers have issues with his return. However, that is next week. This week the steel curtain shuts down the Ravens and gets the win. Take the under and the Steelers to cover.


-1.5 Seahawks @ Rams 38 pts, I like the Rams to win another with their rookie QB Brafford. The Seahawks are a mess. Take the over as well.


+7 49er’s @ Falcons 42 pts, The Niners fired poor Jimmy Raye, their offensive cordinator. It might help the team, but they still have coach Singletary, who has yet to prove he can out-coach anybody. The Falcons cover the spread at home as the score is driven up by some slop / garbage scores by the Niners as they sink to new lows. Alex Smith’s job could be on the line as well if they lose. What a mess.